Lovesong
by x-HotMess
Summary: It's one thing to ask why we break up, but have you ever wondered why it is we fall in love? Shane/Tess


_**It's one thing to ask why we break up**__**,  
Have you ever, wondered why it is we fall in love?  
Can you tell me, do you know what it is you're looking for?**_

I stare at him across the room. His face is lit up, and he looks so happy, and my heart fills with pain. It's not me that is making him happy. And I so desperately want to be. I don't understand why I'm NOT. _Look at me!_ I want to scream. But I don't. It would make me seem totally conceited. And I don't think he would look at me anyway. He might come around, when he realizes I'm what he really wants in a girlfriend, but until then, I'm going to have to wait. A few schemes spring to mind, but I quash them instantaneously. If he was going to want to be with me, he needed to do it on his own terms, not because I forced him to.

_**Why do we need? Can you tell me why I care?  
How is it that we heed the voice that says I want you there**__**?**_

I don't even know why I want him to like me in the first place. Anything to get some deserving attention from someone who was up to my standard, I guess. After all, the daughter of a famous singer can't date just any boy. He has to be special, talented, and we have to have a lot of things in common. And when he arrived here, I thought I had found the guy for me.

But no.

Turns out that he wasn't the guy that everyone thought he was. And I wasn't the girl everyone thought he would want.

_**In a single moment you might be perfect,  
And sit in a window of my life,  
But how much, how much more would I yearn to see?**_

That fleeting instant at the campfire jam, when he looked at me and smiled, it was the single most perfect second of my life. I felt as if he appreciated not only my talent, but the person behind the talent. I thought that maybe, just maybe, he would finally come running to me. I must say, I was surprised when he didn't even make an effort talk to me, but I managed to convince myself it was only a matter of time. He would realize that I was practically perfect for him.

But I'm not perfect. I screwed up at Final Jam. That was NOT how he was supposed to notice me! The look on his face when he looked at me was nothing like the look he gave me at the campfire. This one was filled with shock and pity. But I didn't want his pity; I just wanted him to like me. I didn't know what to do. Everyone was staring at me; I had to get out of there. So I turned and ran.

I gaze at him hardly, willing him to look over in my direction. I hear Ella say something beside me, but I pay no attention. I know I should, after everything I've put her and Peggy through, but I can't draw my concentration away from this one boy. I want to. I really do. _Come on, just look somewhere else, _I think. _Look at the balloons. Look at Peggy, congratulate her again. Whatever you do, just make sure you don't look at him. _

My thoughts spin round and round in my head. Should I? Shouldn't I? Suddenly, I realize it's not my thoughts that are spinning. The room is. Blackness closes in, and I drop to the floor.

_**What would I strive to hide? Now there will be no compromise,  
So take it in your stride, I'll leave you now with a smile.**_

He looks at me from above, like some sort of angel. I can see his lips move, but no sound is coming out of them. I squeeze my eyes tightly, but open them with a shock when I feel pressure on my neck. He is touching me. He is cradling my head in his hands. And suddenly the outside world comes rushing back in, and I can hear him, feel him, even smell him. He smells really good. I open my mouth to say something, but all that comes out is a squeaking sound.

"Are you alright?" His eyes are creased with concern, and I feel a rush of desire.

I know I could manipulate this situation to my benefit. I could cry and faint and kick up a whole lot of drama. I nearly do. But then I see her. She is hovering quietly over his shoulder, looking just as worried as he is. And I can't do it. Just seeing Mitchie reminds me of all the trouble I had caused for her and myself over the summer. Somehow I didn't want to go through that again. So I just nod and sit up slowly, rubbing the back of my head.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, not meeting his eyes.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

I flash a glare at him, and regret it immediately. _He's not questioning you_, I tell myself calmly,_ he's just concerned_. So I smile weakly at him instead.

"I'm sure. I think I just need to get some fresh air." I get up off the ground and try to ignore all the piercings gazes of my peers, following me as I leave the room.

_**Look into my eyes, ours was no love sacrifice,  
For it has helped us to grow,  
And I'm sorry, I know just how far I have to go alone.**_

I hum softly to myself as I walk down towards the beach, guitar in hand. I reach the canoes and take a seat in the small, cramped space, laying the guitar across my lap. I stare out across the deserted lake, and get a formidable sense of the future. I think that this is what it's going to be like for the rest of my life. I'm going to be alone. And I know I have no one to blame but myself.

I try to get the image of his eyes boring into mine out of my head. But I can't. I don't want to.

He will never know what he means to me. Even I don't really know. But what I do know is that he managed to make me different person. I grew up a lot over this summer, due mainly to him. I wanted him to see me, but even if he didn't notice me at Camp Rock, there was no way he could ignore me when I got to record a duet with him. But all that just blew up in my face. I learned that, no matter how manipulative you are, if some things aren't meant to be, they're just not meant to be, and no amount of underhanded plans and back-stabbing can change that.

Karma sure can be a bitch, I think, as I strum on my guitar and sing quietly.

_**Thanks**__**, you've been fuel for thought,  
Now I'm more lonely than before,  
But that's okay, I've just ready-made another stupid love song.**_

"That's really good, Tess." A voice shocks me from behind, and I grab the side of the canoe to stop me falling out of it.

"Shane!" I gasp. What is he doing here, of all places, with me, of all people?

"Did you write that?" He continues, oblivious to my shock.

"Um, yeah. " I bite my lip.

"Oh." is all he says. He stares at me for a second or two, before opening his mouth, then closing it again.

"Can I help you with anything?" I sneer, inwardly cringing. _You need to stop being so rude,_ my conscience tells me.

He narrows his eyes at me. "I just came to see if you were okay, but I can obviously see now you're perfectly fine." He turns on his heel to walk away.

"You're wrong." I let a sob escape.

"What?" He turns back around.

"I'm not perfect. I'm not fine. I've never been lonelier in my life." I sniff, burying my face in my hands.

How embarrassing. Way to go, you idiot, there's no way he's going to be attracted to you now, I scold myself. You've just humiliated your sobbing, snotty self once again in front of the hottest celebrity on the planet. I jump as a warm hand touches my hunched shoulder.

"It's hard being under so much pressure from your mom, huh?" He says sympathetically, sitting down opposite me.

"Yeah, she's always so… Wait, how did you know that?" I look at him in confusion, feeling my breath catch in my throat as I meet his eyes.

"Lucky guess." He shrugs, like he knows something about me that even I don't know.

I don't say anything. I just stare at him. He is so beautiful, and I just can't help my self. I lean forward and press my lips against his. Maybe it's me, but I swear he kisses me back, even if it is only for just a second, before he pulls away abruptly, gaping at me in shock.

"I'm sorry!" I gasp. "I'm sorry! I'm so, so, sorry!" I'm glad it's dark, so he can't see how pink my cheeks are from blushing in mortification.

"It's fine." He chuckles. "I'm flattered, actually. But, Mitchie…"

"Of course!" I babble. "She's probably wondering where you are!"

"Probably. Keep working on that song, Tess. I'm sure it will be a hit one day." He smiles kindly at me as he stands to leave.

"Hey, Shane?" I call after his retreating back.

"Yeah?" He stops and looks over his shoulder.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

I watch him walk away, and finger the strings on my guitar contemplatively. So my music has to be who I really am? I can do that. I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm broken hearted. So I'm going to write a love song. And it's going to be the best damn love song anyone has ever heard. I'm Tess Tyler, for crying out loud. And I am most definitely in love with Shane Gray.

But he most definitely is not in love with me.

* * *

_Song is Lovesong - Amiel. Part of x.o.x PceLuvJonas x.o.x Camp Rock Challenge. I hope you like it. _


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